If you have found yourself reading this, I am curious what is behind the uncertainty for you. For me, whenever I wondered about this myself, there was doubt about my abilities and the arduous journey it took to become a therapist.
It’s a long road to get there. We’ll talk about the details in this post here, but let’s just go over the basics:
- 2-3 year graduate program
- Hundreds of client contact hours to graduate
- Thousands of client contact hours to attain a license
- Multiple cumulative exams in the graduate program, at the state level, and at the national level
It’s a lot of work, and frankly, quite daunting looking at it all from the start. At the beginning of my graduate program, we had an orientation where our program director laid out what the next 3-5 years of our lives would look like – all the classes, the rigorous practicum search and experience, post graduate requirements – all of it.
I felt completely overwhelmed. I kind of freaked out to be honest.
A little later in the orientation, they hosted a panel of students who were nearing the end of the program. They had finished the course work, secured a sought-after practicum site, and were nearing the total required client contact hours necessary to graduate. They offered perspective on how to approach class work. They shared their own experiences seeing clients for the first time. I think it was meant to be reassuring, a sort of “See! They made it this far. So can you!”. What I felt, though, was fear. Uncertainty. Doubt. These elder students seemed to talk so naturally and effortlessly about their most recent client. They sounded like therapists. They looked like therapists. They had it together. And I did not feel that way about myself.
I don’t know if our program director could see the fear in my eyes, the uncertainty and doubtfulness about myself, but she spoke directly to it. And this is what she said,
“Trust the process.”
In that moment, this was a balm to some, not all mind you, but some of that fear. And looking back from where I am now, I can see a little bit more of why the process can be trusted.
The path is already laid out for you
Take comfort in knowing there have been many that have gone before you. The path is fairly well worn at this point, a lot less guess work and many more guides. You still hold the onus of responsibility, but you are not alone, and you can take it day by day.
You are right where you are supposed to be
Comparison is a killer. It is so easy to look at others and find a multitude of reasons why they are more suited to become a therapist than me. One of my first weeks of my grad program we did an exercise called The Fishbowl. Essentially, our professor roleplayed a difficult client and it was up to us students, separated into pairs, to provide therapy. Let me remind you, this was THE FIRST WEEK. My social anxiety was spiking as I sat next to my therapist partner and honestly, I do not remember anything that I said or did. All I remember was driving home that night convinced I was the worst therapist in the world and every other student was completely and totally qualified. The next week, as class started, our professor began by saying, “Well done. I know last week was difficult. And you are exactly where you need to be.”
Fear is often at the root of comparison. Fear almost convinced me to give up on trying before I even really got started. But Fear is just another emotion, it does not define you, and it is often trying to protect you. You can thank Fear for trying to do its job, and you can soothe Fear by reassuring it that you are right where you are supposed to be.
Confidence often comes with experience
I was not confident in myself during that Fishbowl exercise. Two years into the program and just beginning 1-on-1 role plays, I was still scared, but not as much. When I had my first actual client, again, still scared, but not as much. Now, almost 3 years into my practice, I still get a little nervous before difficult clients, but nothing compared to Day 1. It’s basically exposure therapy, right? The more you choose to lean into the fears you have and come out on the other side, the more it is ingrained in you that you are going to be okay next time. The greater the exposure, the greater the confidence.
You are not locked in
Lastly, this may sound contradictory to what I’ve said before, but you are not locked in once you begin. Of course, I want you to succeed, your professors do, your community does. But success does not always mean gritting your teeth and bearing it until you break. Sometimes success is honestly and wisely knowing when it’s time to call it quits. Now, I recommend you don’t make this decision in isolation. Turn to your trusted few, to spiritual leaders, to a therapist to process it out. And maybe you find out that the best thing to do is to not become a therapist. That’s ok. That’s great. There’s something else better suited for you and it’s a win if you avoid a dead-end road.
I’ll leave you on this: all of us doubt ourselves. Even now there are certain clients that make me doubt my decision to become a therapist. It’s ok to doubt. Just watch that Fear, be curious about it, make it your friend. And know that Fear does not define you.