A common question I get asked by friends, the stranger cutting my hair, or even by my own clients is, why did you want to become a therapist? And it’s a great question. One that spans broader and deeper than the specific field of therapy. It seems to tap into a core theme of being human – finding our purpose.
Purpose can be both energizing and overwhelming. When we are dialed into why we are doing the things we are doing, there is a kind of deep energy that animates the things we do. It can help push you through the most difficult moments of being a therapist – when you’re scared to see that difficult couple or get fired by a disgruntled client or find yourself tremendously burned out. It can also amplify the most wonderful moments, when your client beams with pride and excitement over their own breakthrough or seeing a couple soften with each other and let their emotional walls down.
Without purpose, though, it might just feel like the colors have drained from the world and even the simplest tasks, like keeping up on case notes, can become tedious and burdensome.
So, considering Purpose in relation to the pursuit of becoming a therapist is key. Often, this is what many people come to you for; they’ve lost their way, lost touch with what is meaningful in their life. It can be incredibly difficult to help someone else navigate that path when you find yourself lost as well. That is not to say you will always find your work meaningful, I have certainly experienced separation and confusion from my own purpose as a therapist. But it is wise to begin this process by homing in on what might be driving you to become a therapist, to try to build some solid ground to stand on. How might we do this?
Finding your “why”
- I have found that this is best not done alone. If you have loved ones or friends, you trust you might ask them why they could see you wanting to be a therapist. Maybe they have stories or experiences from their relationship with you that spotlights why this work may be meaningful for you. Maybe they’ve felt your empathy for them or your grounded-ness in conflict. Those who know us best can often help dispel unfounded doubts as well as bring us back to earth when we have our head in the clouds.
- A second way of going about this would be to do some soul searching yourself. Journaling is a powerful tool to gain clarity. Maybe you reflect on the moments in your life that stand out as most meaningful, the moments you felt most alive. What was it about the environment, the circumstances that stand out? What did you see in yourself that was shining? Maybe it was a late-night conversation with a friend who really needed someone to listen to them. Maybe you tuned into a stranger at the grocery store having a difficult day and offered them a smile. Maybe a sibling expressed to you how much they appreciate your steadiness and encouragement over the years. Whatever comes to mind, be curious about it and try to identify some themes about what made those moments so special for you.
- A final way to go about this could be asking other therapists and helpers about their “why”. Sometimes hearing someone else’s story helps connect the dots for ourselves. This could look like literally asking the question. It could also look like finding voices in the field that resonate with you and learning more about why they do what they do. Whatever you choose, be curious about other’s experience with finding their “why”, and you might find that it’s helpful to you as well.
Now, finding and maintaining one’s purpose is a lifelong journey full of ebbs and flows. But if you can uncover even a small portion of why being a therapist would be meaningful to you, that can be a treasure and a light you can carry with you far and deep into your career. A light that will not only serve your future clients, but you as well.
Additional Resources:
Check out this video for another take on the importance of knowing why you want to be a therapist before you begin.