I’ve been feeling afraid lately. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I’m beginning a new position at a new clinic. Next week, actually. And there’s a lot of uncertainty in it.

• Will I be able to manage the significantly larger case load?
• Will I be friends with my new colleagues?
• Will my new office have a window? (Please please please have a window)

A lot of the time, I tend to avoid my fear. I’ll distract myself from it with another episode of Wednesday or run away from it and shovel the snow even though we barely got an eighth of an inch.

But over the past few days, as I get oh so nearer to my start date, I’ve tried to do what I help my client’s do.

Slow down.

Breathe.

Feel the emotion. Make it granular. Face it for what it is.

And listen for what’s just under the surface.

What I’ve found is that below my fear is a gentle but powerful longing to be enough. To believe that I am enough. And my fear is the question – am I enough?

I think it’s these kinds of questions that we often bury deep down because they’re fragile. We want to keep them safe. Especially from an answer we desperately do not want to hear.

So, I try to answer myself with what I feel I need.

Yes, Ben. You are enough. I know it’s scary right now, all this change, all this uncertainty. But you will be ok. No matter what happens, you are enough.

💭 Reflection Question

What questions are buried down deep within myself? What answers might I need?

🖱️ Click Worthy

 Helper Syndrome by Gabor Mate  

In this article, Gabor explores the question “when is enough” for us who are so prone to wear ourselves out with trying to help.

Here’s a highlight:

“There’s never a situation when helping by offering compassion doesn’t help. What doesn’t help is taking on the impossible.”